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From Cookies to Community: How David Burton's 'Moment of Conviction' Sparked a Neighboring Revolution

Catherine Huckaby

quote from david burton

In 2018, David Burton had what he calls a moment of conviction. Despite living in the same house for fifteen years, he and his wife knew the name of only one neighbor. He shares,


"If you had asked me before 2018 if I was a good neighbor, or if you had asked me if I loved my neighbor, I would have said yes to both of those." 

After all, he was quiet, picked up after his dog on walks, mowed his leaves, and took down their Christmas lights before New Year's Day.


But one day he came to a profound realization: "The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is apathy." This epiphany would transform not only the neighborhood where they lived in the City of Republic, Missouri, but it would eventually spark a movement reaching far beyond his community. For David, being a good neighbor began to mean more than just maintaining property standards - it meant creating genuine connections that could transform communities from the ground up.

 

 

The Cookie Connection


He and his wife decided to act, starting with a simple gesture - homemade chocolate chip cookies. "My wife's more of an introvert. She made the cookies. I rang the doorbells," he explains. They distributed their contact information along with the treats, sometimes having to swallow their pride and acknowledge the years that had passed without real connection.


David Burton
David Burton

"In some cases, we had to say, 'I know you've lived here five years, and I've not had a real conversation with you. We want to do better as neighbors.'" 




This humble approach resonated with people, and slowly, connections began to form in their ‘clicker neighborhood’ – you know the ones - where people typically just clicked their garage doors open, drove in, and clicked them shut behind them.


The simplicity of their approach - cookies, and conversation - proved that meaningful grassroots community engagement doesn't require elaborate planning or extensive resources. It requires intentionality and the courage of one person to take the first step, even when it means acknowledging past oversights.

 

 

When Neighbors Become Family


The true value of these connections soon became apparent when David’s wife was diagnosed with cancer. Through their newfound relationships, they discovered that two nearby neighbors were cancer survivors. These women became his wife's immediate support network, showing up at their house when she returned from surgery. Today, his wife is cancer-free, but the experience demonstrated so much more than the power of proximity and genuine connection.


This personal experience highlighted a crucial truth about neighborhood connections: they provide more than just social interaction - they create a support system that can be mobilized in times of crisis. The proximity of neighbors makes them uniquely positioned to offer immediate, practical help in ways that even close friends or family living across town simply cannot.

 

 

From Personal Passion to Professional Purpose


As a Community Development Specialist with the University of Missouri Extension, he realized this neighborhood-level work aligned perfectly with his community development role. His conviction evolved into what they called the Engaged Neighbor Project, choosing the word ‘engaged’ deliberately over ‘good’ based on revealing research.


"We did what we call ‘the state of neighboring study’. One of the questions we asked people was, 'What makes someone a good neighbor?' Both years, the top two criteria for what makes someone a good neighbor is someone who's quiet and respects my privacy." 

In other words, our culture has come to define a good neighbor as someone who leaves us alone - a definition he is working hard to change.


The transition from personal conviction to professional initiative wasn't immediate. He had to navigate institutional channels, gradually building support for his vision. His twenty years of credibility with the university helped him gain the freedom to develop a program that approached community development from the neighborhood up, rather than the traditional top-down approach.


 

Making an Impact, One Name at a Time


The impact of his work has been measurable. In 2018, 41% of residents in his city said they didn't know any of their neighbors' names. Through consistent community messaging and encouragement, that number dropped to 12% within just a few years. While the percentage of people knowing all eight surrounding neighbors only grew from 12% to 14%, the middle ground expanded significantly, with more people knowing two to four of their neighbors.


These statistics tell a story of incremental but meaningful progress. His work demonstrates that community transformation doesn't happen overnight but through sustained effort and attention to small victories. The shift from knowing no neighbors to knowing even a few represents a significant change in community connectivity.


The impact extends beyond numbers. David shares stories of neighbors who have started their own outreach initiatives, including two who went on to run for city council after becoming more connected to their community. These ripple effects show how neighborhood engagement can also lead to broader civic involvement and community leadership.


 

Building Sustainable Connections


His approach to community engagement emphasizes sustainability over spectacle. His regular Saturday morning coffee gatherings in his garage are one example.


"I don't even drink coffee, but a lot of people do. Some people come and grab a free cup of coffee and leave. Others will stay the whole two hours and just visit."

These gatherings don't require elaborate preparation - no house cleaning, no formal meal planning, just coffee and conversation. This low-pressure approach has proven effective at maintaining long-term connections and gradually drawing in even the most reluctant of neighbors.


As with everything in life, there have been challenges to continue building neighborhood connections - enter the COVID-19 pandemic. He and his wife quickly adapted by hosting ‘dinners on the driveway’ every Friday for over a year, allowing neighbors to stop and chat at a safe distance. While some of these practices have waned post-pandemic, they demonstrated the resilience of community connections and the importance of adapting engagement strategies to changing circumstances.


 

Lessons from an Engaged Neighbor


David offers several key insights for those wanting to establish relationships with their neighbors:


  • Start with The Basic 3

    1. Learn the names of your neighbors.

    2. Find excuses to use the names of your neighbors.

    3. Invite them to a social event or activity.

     

  • Focus on Connection, Not Entertainment 

    "When we talk about community engagement, it's kind of like telling people to have a block party, and suddenly they think, 'Oh, I've got to get a band and a bounce house.' No. Just on your driveway with your immediate neighbors. The power is in the invitation and the connection, not the entertainment.”


  • Think Local First

    "There's nothing I can do that will impact Washington, D.C. There's very little I can do that's going to impact my state capital. But every single day, I can do something that impacts my neighbors and my neighborhood. It begins from the moment I step out my front door."


  • Practice Patience

    David shares a story about a neighbor named Rich who took years to join their coffee gatherings. "Rich said, 'Well, I've seen this going on. And it just started looking like it might be fun.'" This highlights the importance of maintaining consistent opportunities for connection without pressure.


  • Start Small

    After shoveling a new neighbor's driveway during a light snow, David was told he was ‘the best neighbor they'd ever had’ - after only their second interaction. "The bar for what it means to be a good neighbor is set so low, it's hard to crawl under it."


  • Be Intentional

    He emphasizes that community engagement isn't something you do occasionally - it's a lifestyle. "It's not a hat I take on and off or a box that I check each day."


  • Measure Success Differently

    Don't focus solely on numbers. He recalls events where fewer people showed up than expected but later learned how meaningful the gathering was for those who did attend. "I'm not the right one to be gauging what success is or is not."


  • Begin In Your State

    In 2021, David worked with his state representative to get Missouri Good Neighbor Week (Sept. 28 - Oct.4) signed into law by the governor. The effort began first in his city (2019) and then in his county (2020 and 2021) and is now celebrated statewide.


    In 2024, over 31,000 acts of neighborliness were reported during the week, five cities were recognized as Missouri’s most neighborly, and 20 individuals were selected as the most engaged neighbors in the state. Now, at least five other states have contacted David and are looking at ways to pass similar legislation.


"I see the impact this week is having because it motivates individuals and cities to plan events and take action to make connections with neighbors and to serve their neighbors. When anyone is working to become a more engaged neighbor, we all benefit."

 

Looking Forward


David Burton’s work continues to evolve and inspire others. He receives regular feedback from people across the country who have implemented his ideas in their communities. While he sometimes questions his impact, especially when attendance at events is low, he regularly receives confirmation through emails and calls from people sharing how his work has transformed their approach to neighboring.


His message resonates because it addresses a fundamental human need for connection while providing practical, achievable steps toward building that connection. As he puts it, ‘building civic muscle’ happens one relationship at a time, transforming our communities from places where we merely live to places where we truly belong.


The success of his work shows that while the challenges of disconnected communities are real, the solutions can be surprisingly simple. It just takes someone willing to take that first step - or in this case, bake those first cookies.

 

 

Additional Resources


Take note of these organizations and initiatives mentioned by David:


  • The Engaged Neighbor Project encourages community involvement and connection among neighbors, provided through the University of Missouri Extension.


  • The University of Missouri Extension brings research-based knowledge to communities across the state, improving lives through education and outreach.


  • Missouri Good Neighbor Week, held annually from September 28 to October 4, is a statewide initiative that promotes neighborly acts and community building to document thousands of acts of neighboring.

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©2024 by The Community Positive Project. 

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