"When my kids are talking to you in a few years about what they're doing for work, they can say, oh, my dad had this challenge, but we grew up talking about it... and we know where to go for help." 

We've all been in situations where someone asked for our opinion, nodded thoughtfully, and then proceeded to do exactly what they were going to do anyway. Call it what you like, but that's not collaboration. It's theater.

"An assistant city manager asked, 'Are there any questions?' And I raised my hand and asked, 'What's a pension?’ "I was terrified but figured I needed to ask questions if I was going to effectively explain the topic to others."

"If there's a barrier, it's up to you if you want to let it stop you or not."

"It took a long time to get comfortable. I was reactive. I said yes to every request for support and found it difficult to say no because there was no process I could reference to justify my reason for not doing something. When my manager left, I assumed their role and responsibilities, too. After much trial and error, I have a clear understanding of how I want public participation and education to look at the agency.”